Bounty and Fudge

So it seems that Saddam has been captured, holed up in a coffin/bunker with a pistol, 2 AK 47s, $US 750,000 and a box of bounty bars. (as per rule 1, Dictatorship 101, Things to Take With You When On The Run. I see the CIA really did teach him well.)
His achilles heel, it transpires, was a co-operative relative who tipped off Good old Uncle Joe.
Mother-in-laws... God, you gotta hate 'em.

as an aside, I find the whole issue really distasteful. I mean, for Chrissakes. Bounty?? Snickers man. Always go snickers. What kinda dictator eats chocolate bars with coconut flakes in them - that's just so wrong.

******

In local news, Tony B. Liar maintains that the secret WMD labs clandestinely disguised as chippy shops / Indian take out in Iraq are clear evidence of Saddams Thrust for a bigger, longer Phalanx of Mass Destruction.
UN Inspector Hanz Blinky's professional opinion is that there is no clear evidence that the establishments were ever intended to be put to the use of increasing Saddam's mighty endowment.

*******

In local news, too, Abdulla Takashimaya, Acting Minister (apparently he's not a real minister anymore) has been overheard telling (so it's really acting lah, not pantomime) local students that they have to Trustno1 and Question Everything. Naturally they brought it right back to him and started asking him if the government is just wayang-ing or is it really doing things behind the scenes?

(the answer is, yes, OF COURSE our belovered ministers are doing things behind the scenes! WHY DO YOU THINK THEY WEAR WHITE?)
(getyermindsouttathegutter.)

One brave soul even had the temerity to remind him that he was, in true-blue/white ministerial fashion not answering the question.

Reminds me of the time GCT visited the UK several years back.

Setting : a press-conference-styled meeting complete with TV crew, bright lights, and generic bunch of frigh... hesitant student-audience twitching hands in pockets but few actually raising them to ask anything vaguely sensible.

Mr X, a student with the subtlety, natural good looks and hairstyle of an overripe durian, plus life expectency of a bright orange, talking, humanoid shaped hooded-garment from a TV cartoon series about some park or other had this rather interesting conversation with The Supreme Ruler (and occasional Exceptional Eraser):

X : So what about your policy yaddayaddayadda, which blahblahblah, would you not agree it is bad because (insertgenericboringnoisehere)?

GCT : (Big, sincere eyes, slow, ponderous tone) Weeeell, fudgefudgefudge.

X : Ah, but what about yaddayaddayadda, which blahblahblah, so it's blinkblankbonk??

GCT : (slightly narrower eyes, slower, more ponderously) fudgefudgefudge!

X : You are not answering the question sir. What about...???*

GCT : (big, sincere eyes, vague attempt to look humourous, valiant attempt at light tone of voice) some questions you simply do not ask!
methinks he also made some odd gestures behind his back to his security staff.

I wonder whatever happened to Mr X...

At the same conference, there was also Ms Y, a (groan) medical student from nuttyporker university, who bravely raised her hand and delivered us this unforgettable gem :

Y: (breathlessly) MrGCTMrGCT! Mymotherknowsyou! Shesplayedgolfwithyoubeforeandalwaystalksaboutyou, she... (peters out abruptly, eyes glaze over. pause.) weebleweeblewee. ble!

GCT : (big, sincere eyes, slow, ponderous tone) ye-es. (pause). you remind me of her.

* - author's footnote : always question the sanity of a person who concludes his sentences with more than two punctuation marks. Good one, Mr Takashimaya !!i    # Re-minisce denies liability.12/16/2003 10:16:00 pm