Plane Speak

DrGoat observes that children, ordinarily bastions of sweetness, innocence and other manner of iccky words that bring forth the mushness within us all, metamorphose aboard aeroplanes.
Children aboard Aeroplanes come as either one of two subspecii :

1) bawlers : drgoat considers parents who callously allow their children to bawl for thirteen hours continuously (where normally even half an hour of sustained crying is enough to precipitate a maternally-motivated midnight sojourn to the nearest Accident and Emergency)
grossly inconsiderate. There's limited oxygen aboard a plane! they recycle the air!! the little monsters are just wasting everyone's life-blood......

2) kickers : we all know the type - they assume the foetal position then bunny hop on your back with the force of a fifty-ton, five year old joey (with oversized feet to err boot).
Drgoat postulates that sports schools are unnecessary to develop future versions of Fandhi, Beckham or Wilko : frequent flying will do far more to develop their leg-power. Or give them death by Deep Vein Thrombosis. Which wouldn't be such a bad thing either. Natural selection is a good thing. Get with the programme, people.    # Re-minisce denies liability.12/13/2003 01:37:00 am